I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
