Don't you send me to vm
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
