I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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