See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
