sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
