great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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