Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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