i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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