Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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