This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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