It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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