I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
