READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
