is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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