Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
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