he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize