omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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