i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
