you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
