I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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