So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He better not be in your backpack
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
