how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
