The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize