When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
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I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
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If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
we're so committed to being not committed
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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