The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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