the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
