I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
