Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
