Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
