bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
