oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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