He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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