She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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