if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So much rum. So many feels.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
