Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me they were just razor bumps!
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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