Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Randomize
