I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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