What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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