just tell him i said nine months
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
