he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
