respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
