im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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