you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
