She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
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There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
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Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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