i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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