At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
