some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
True college students do jello shots in the library
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