Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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