WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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