He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
