come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
