You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
how can u be prego again
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
