My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
