Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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