Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
