One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Holy shit dude........stairs
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
