I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
