Im at strip club and am horny
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
