I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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