I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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