walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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